Galactic Gigolo (1988) from Tuna |
Let's pull no punches. Galactic Gigolo (1988) is one of the worst films I have ever seen. It opens with a game show on a far away world populated by intelligent vegetables. The carrot is the Groucho-like host, and a broccoli (in one of the worst costumes imaginable) is the winning contestant. So tell him what he won, Don Pardo. Thank you, carrot, right carrot. He's won a two week stay in the horny woman capital of the universe, Providence Connecticut. The broccoli is on Earth disguised as a sleazy porn director or something, and his goal is to sleep with every woman in town the during the two weeks. He attracts some unwanted attention in his silver jump-suit, so he holds a press conference. From that point on, he is accompanied by a nerd photographer and a female reporter who wants to write a book about his vacation. They are being chased by a family of Jewish redneck shit-shovelers, and a stupid Mafia gang who want him to use his shape-shifting ability to rob banks. Much of the film's running time consists of is endless chases through the woods. We do see the breasts of three 80s scream queens. Ruth Collins plays Dr. Ruth Pepper (get it? Dr. Pepper. How hilarious). Karen Nielsen and Lisa Patruno enjoy a post-coital hot tub and interview. |
"Did you have multiple orgasms?" |
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